Review
There is a high view of marriage, and a low view of singleness in the church. This book aims to bring balance to view both as a gift from God and that both are noble and good. It helps singles to get a better understanding of their singleness, the benefits and dangers of singleness. And shed some light on married life that it is not “happily ever after” as many of us thought. Further more, the married can also benefit from this book as single people and married couple benefit from how they can support each other as members in the body of Christ.
Introduction
- There are many “general ignorances” around singleness; Singleness is often portrayed as a negative
- Those who are married will be single again at some point in their life, either through divorce, or death (And ultimately in heaven).
- As a member of the body of the Church, it is important to know about each other’s situation to help the body thrive
- Biblical singleness is that you are not married and you are also abstaining from sexual activities
Singleness is Too Hard
- Being married and having sex is not required to have a fulfilling life. Jesus was the most human of us all, and He was single.
- Both singleness and married have their ups and downs.
- People usually sees that “the grass is greener on the other side”.
- Married life have a lot of troubles that comes with it.
- You would rather be unhappily single, than unhappily married.
- Single life is much more simple, while married life is much more complicated.
- Danger of single life is that it is easier to become self centred.
- The inconvenience of living with others have a sanctifying effect.
- 1 Corinthians 7:1-16; Matthew 19:1-12
Singleness Require a Special Calling
- Singleness as well as Marriage is both a gift from God
- Thinking that singleness requires a special calling have few bad implications:
- That singleness is not a gift but requires special calling to be able to tolerate it
- Gives way to disobedience, by blaming God for putting us in situations that we don’t like
- Fail to see that marriage is just as hard or even harder, what about those that are unhappily married? Does it mean that they are not called to marriage and should “divorce”?
- Generate bitterness and putting off those that are happily single as “they are just called to be single”
- Paul’s usage of gift usually involves someway of building others up, and not some individual ability for self-fulfillment
- You can be single because of selfishness, and that is a wrong reason to be single.
- You can also be married for selfishness which is also not the right reason.
Singleness Means No Intimacy
- Society today has shallow view of friendship. Look to David and Jonathan for a more biblical view of friendship (2 Samuel 12:26).
- Many people mistaken companions/acquaintances with the biblical definition of friends
- Friendship is different from family and marriage
- Family have obligation, while Friendship is voluntary
- Marriage is exclusive and covenantal, while Friendship is not
Singleness Means No Family
- Matthew 19:27-30, Jesus promised land, father, mother, and children, brothers and sisters to those who left everything and followed Him
- There is a spiritual family, and it is an immediate family.
- The physical family and spiritual family should complement each other.
- There shouldn’t be an isolated nucleus physical family. Family should look to be hospitable.
- You can still have spiritual children as a single. Jesus and Paul, and many others did.
- The creation mandate of multiplying and filling the earth finds its final fulfillment in the Great Commission in making disciples.
Singleness Hinders Ministry
- There are benefits to have a married pastor. Larger capacity to relate to church folks, and emotional support from spouse.
- There are also advantages to having a single pastor. They are seen as a neutral within the parenting circle. And is more flexible and responsive than married pastors.
- Wisdom from God’s word is more important than someone’s experience in certain topics.
- Single pastor, however do need time to develop deep friendships to have that solid social net.
Singleness Wastes Your Sexuality
- Marriage’s purpose was to point to the ultimate union of heaven and earth, the Church and Christ.
- Marriage isn’t to fulfill you, but to point you to the reality of union of Christ and the Church.
- Physical Marriage will no longer be necessary in Heaven as it is a shadow of the Ultimate marriage in Heaven.
- Singleness shows the sufficiency of the Gospel as it shows a longing for the ultimate marriage in Christ and the Church.
Singleness is Easy
- Many view people in their thirties and forties who are still single strange.
- Feeling of Loneliness. Feeling of demotion when close friends gets married.
- God gives actual grace and not imaginary grace
Remember one is given the strength to bear what actually happens, not the 101 different things that might happen.
- C.S. Lewis
- Marriage has its own problems as well.
- We shall find our full contentment in Christ alone, not on singleness, marriage, or friends, all else are sinking sands.
Conclusion
- Ultimately, married or not, strive to seek God