The Mark of a Man by Elisabeth Elliot is a book Elisabeth wrote to her college-aged nephew. She starts off by dealing with the cultural climate of feminism, and then setting a biblical foundation for the purpose of sexuality. The book is written from a Complementarian perspective. If you come to this book wanting a list of qualities of men this comes in about a third of the way into the book. Elisabeth deals with all kinds of problems relating to being a man and sexuality such as: singleness, what it means to be a man, marriage, being a husband, being a father, what to look for in a wife, what to do when you don’t understand her.
The chapters are short, ranging from 2-6 pages. Elisabeth’s writing style uses more stories and illustrations which makes it an enjoyable read. But if you are looking for something like a systematic theology of biblical manhood you will probably need to look elsewhere. But the book is nonetheless very biblical and she makes most of her points using biblical narratives.
I would definitely recommend this book to guys in their college years since it is its target audience. For women I would recommend Let Me Be A Woman by Elisabeth Elliot where she writes to her daughter that is about to get married.
Notes
-
Complementarian view
- Creation
- Fall
- role reversal: Eve took initiative
- God wants the best for us, disbelief of GOd’s good design
- Fall
- “helper fit for man”
- Made for man
- Made from man (1 Cor 11)
- Brought to the man
- Named by the man
- Marriage
- Separation
- Between all man and women
- parents
- Joining
- by God, sex is not just physical
- Between 2 particular men and women
- Separation
- Creation
-
Sexuality is complementary
- Masculinity means Initiation
- Leadership
- Endurance: as Christ did, so do we; enduring temptations
- To take care of: own body
- Also mean to notice
- Does the wooing
- Obedience
- Obedience even when it looks dumb
- Tenderness, while not compromising truth
- Love = Refiner’s fire
- Sanctifies himself
- making her holy
- Forgiveness
- Courage to do the right thing; dying to self
- Femininity means Response
- Taking of name gives you a new identity
- Reflected in sexual organs as well
- Just like how God (masculine) initiates and the Church (Feminin) responds
- Jesus led by service (Washed feet)
- Stereotype v.s. Archetype (What doe sthis mean/)
- Masculinity means Initiation
-
Love making ≠ real love
- love making is a performance
- real love means losing of one self
-
Husband should try to understand their wives (no matter how hard it is)
-
Checklist for a wife
- In the faith
- Glade to be feminim
- Humour
- Willing to put down their career
- “Unfading loveliness of a calm and gentle spirit”
- Help you to (and you should try to do):
- be a man
- heir together in the graze of life
- Love like 1 Cor 13
- Lead
- Make her glad she’s a women (be courteous, and notice)
-
There is a difference between liking (taste) and agreeing (argumentation)